I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
