Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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