my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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