I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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