i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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