hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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