i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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