So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
