what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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