The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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