dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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