I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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