he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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