I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Its about making memories worth repressing
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
