Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
