she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
