Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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