I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
