Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
