Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
