he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
