Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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