and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
