yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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