Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
