Christians are straight up FREAKS
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize