Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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