Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
