wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
