one word: firstdatebathroomanal
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
