I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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