when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
