Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
