Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
