Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I had to cum in my sink.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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