she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
