Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
