i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
