My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
