Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
