WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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