porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize