you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
