school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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