im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everyone says I win the strip club
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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