was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize