Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
