I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
