I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
