that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize