I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
