how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
