If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Do vagina's smell?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize