I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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