wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
