Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
