You really coming over, don't trick.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
