We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
