Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
