just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
